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How to Use Masculine Energy to Enhance Feminine Energy

May 17, 2021 by Billy Samoa Saleebey
General
amy stanton, Authentic, CEO, Emotions, Feminine, Femininity, Founder, Masculine

• Where do gender expressions come from?

• Who defines them?

• What are the benefits of using masculine and feminine energies?

To discuss the divine feminine energy, we talked with Amy Stanton, author of The Feminine Revolution. 

Amy is her own boss, all the way across the board. After leaving California and moving to New York, fuel was added to her fire, proving to be a formative time in her life. In New York, a fast moving metropolitan area, comfort and steadiness are hard to find. It’s a constant uphill battle, balancing survival and work. Amy Stanton was up for the challenge. 

Stanton was Head of Marketing and Communications for the 2012 NYC Olympic Bid. This is where she met Dan and Jay, both of whom she worked with extensively. Stanton describes the deep sense of respect and understanding that existed between her and the two men. Dan came from a hedge fund background and Jay came from politics and media, so essentially, they were both intense powerhouses themselves. She worked herself tirelessly for them, but the work was based on a profound respect each side had for the other. Dan and Jay accepted and acknowledged Amy’s dedication to her work and the emotions that came with it.

Over the course of her career, Stanton worked for a variety of bosses. In doing so, she started to recognize noticeable differences between the reception of masculine and feminine energies in the workplace. Stanton initially regarded some female bosses as “nitpicky,” “petty,” and “jealous,” all of which are labels often given to women. Alternatively, men were not given equivalent labels. 

Contrary to viewing crying and being sensitive as negative, Amy encourages embracement. Exploring the root cause of emotions can allow individuals to form deeper connections. In a workplace setting, employers and employees can ask questions and engage in open dialogue to understand one another better. This could make the difference between someone quitting and someone excelling at work.

Amy drives home the point that feminine qualities are not weaknesses, but instead, they are superpowers. Femininity is a source of power but is often mistaken for the opposite. As the author of The Feminine Revolution, Amy Stanton digs deep into the power dynamics of masculinity and femininity. Amy initially felt she wasn’t showing up completely at work, and being in a corporate setting in New York City didn’t help as emotions and sensitivity are not necessarily embraced. As a result, Stanton had to be more direct and assertive to thrive in a “man’s world.” For a while, this worked. Amy recalls her peers perceiving her as tough. More so, she felt she had the feminine qualities beaten out of her.

This poses a question: why do we hold parts of ourselves back? Stanton goes on to suggest that we hide certain aspects of ourselves that we feel aren’t welcome in certain spaces. This ultimately leads to a misinterpretation of character and the possibility of someone feeling restricted as they can’t be their true selves. 

After her time working on the 2012 New York Olympic Bid, Amy Stanton went on to work with Martha Stewart and became the first chief marketing officer (CMO) for her brand. Stanton fondly describes her time working with Martha Stewart, also noting that she thinks Stewart is a visionary. Stewart’s brand and omnimedia concept has influenced many other celebrities to do the same. 

Working with Martha, Amy learned that femininity is not one size fits all. She recalled Stewart’s management style being extremely direct. This can be coded as a masculine trait. It is something a lot of women executives feel the need to adopt, despite the fact it is rarely seen as a positive trait. Stanton learned how curious and genuinely interested Martha Stewart was in every aspect of her life. She recalls the story of the first time Martha Stewart went to Costco. Stewart had never been in her life. But upon arrival, Stanton was amazed by how Stewart received everything there, with a sense of wonderment and intent. And Amy then realized how Martha Stewart presented her feminine and masculine energies. She may not always be outwardly feminine, but she shows up as herself, unapologetically. 

Nurture, caregiver, and mother have historically been associated as feminine traits, while, direct, assertive, and controlling have been seen as more masculine. We all have a balance. Rather than feeling the need to swap one out for the other, embracing one’s self through multiple identities can enhance character.

Stanton provided some advice for younger generations. We have the ability to choose who we want to be and how we present ourselves. Stanton recommends examining the parts of yourself that are holding you back. Are you showing up as your true self? Or are you hiding parts of you to make others comfortable? Either way, it’s important to not beat yourself up for every little thing and just be as authentically you (however masculine or feminine you would like) as possible. 

You can learn more about Amy: 

Website: http://stanton-company.com/ 

Book: The Feminine Revolution

Podcast:

https://insightoutshow.dreamhosters.com/podcast/how-to-use-masculine-energy-to-enhance-feminine-energy-amy-stanton/

Rooted in His Past, but, Not Restricted by it

May 17, 2021 by Billy Samoa Saleebey
General
blind, business, CEO, change, chief strategist, Chris Do, culture, design, teacher, the futur

Chris Do is an Emmy award-winning designer, director, CEO & Chief Strategist of Blind, a brand strategy design consultancy, and founder of The Futur—an online education platform. There is no shortage of words to describe Chris. What word does Chris feel best describes him at this point in his life? Teacher. Do takes us through his past, uncovering key insights that shaped who he is today.

What impact did being born to immigrant parents have?

Do’s parent’s decision to flee Saigon in 1975 led him to develop the necessary skill set and ability to adapt to change. Being born to immigrant parents, habits, ideas, and beliefs were passed down from traumatic events. Such awareness has enabled Chris to be “rooted in his past, but not restricted by it”. With an immense amount of gratitude for the United States and opportunity to start over, Chris has taken on the mindset that you get to pick and choose the best parts of yourself and don’t have to hold on to the parts that you don’t love.

His parents have been among the most influential in his life. Courage and determination are a couple of words Chris uses to describe them. Without obtaining a college education in the United States, Do’s dad worked his way up from being a busboy at a restaurant, not being able to speak English, to ultimately retiring as the chief engineer at a semiconductor company in Silicon Valley.

The role birth order played

Being the middle child to two working parents, Chris became self-reliant. He was able to explore who he was, using mindfulness tactics to observe his thoughts. Do attributes part of his drive and desire to not getting what he wanted as a child.

“The child dies and a man was born”

When Do was around 18 years old he found himself in a toxic relationship. To top it off, he was arguing with his brother, and met with discouragement when his mom suggested giving up on his dream to go to private school. After spiraling down a dark path, Do was able to snap out of it and became determined to prove each and every doubter wrong. He was going to do whatever it took to put himself through college. A switch was flipped, and as Chris describes, “the child dies and a man was born”. This point of inflection shaped his future endeavors. 

“If you want to be a better teacher be a better student. If you want to be a better student, be a better teacher.”

Do was highly influenced by his Philosophy 101 instructor. His professor wrote a book with a series of short stories that built upon complex ideas. Chris thought highly of the fact he never told the class what to think, and asked really good questions. 

How can being a loud introvert be an advantage?

When afraid or too drained to talk to people, Chris turned to himself. His inner dialogue game became strong. Chris claims, “when your mouth is moving, you can’t be learning.” By listening, he was able to learn more.  Do suggests that while we all need practice speaking, articulating, and leading, we should spend the rest of our time paying attention to how we, and others, are thinking, feeling, and responding. The lense is never perfectly clear, we all bring biased opinions. Aiming to be an objective observer, Chris highlights the importance of being more intentional in what we listen to. “Is this the person I want to attract?” Our mind is a sacred place and we have to be a bouncer, controlling what goes in and out. With this practice, Chris has learned to tune out raw energy and emotion, and decipher feedback.

How has the ability to adapt to change served in business pursuits?

Chris attributes Blind’s longevity to the team’s ability to adapt. Accustomed to change from moving nearly every year and a half as a child, Do was able to pivot Blind’s direction when new opportunities arose. Chris has built a high pain tolerance, enabling him to change course rather than being stuck in old ways. Paying attention to culture, trends, and movement has lended well throughout his career. Although Do has had many successes, he emphasizes there isn’t always a straight path, and he is no stranger to failed attempts.

Make a living doing what you love

After crossing most things off his list, Chris didn’t find himself enjoying the services industry anymore. He was missing his purpose and wanted to teach, leading to the formation of The Futur in 2016. Do is not in it for the money. “There are a lot easier ways for [him] to make money”. He is trying to do something to change education as we know it. The Futur’s mission is to teach 1 billion people how to make a living doing what they love. “Living” does not define “money”, allowing each individual to determine the meaning for themselves.

What does Chris want to be known for?

“Dad created opportunity for us” and “he never told us what to do”. A lot of parents raise children to correct sins of the past, living vicariously through them. Chris believes he is exactly who he is supposed to be because he was able to explore who he was. He has made mistakes along the way, but, they have pointed him back into the direction of doing the right thing.

Websites:

https://thefutur.com/

Blind.com

https://taplink.cc/thechrisdo

Social Media:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-b3c7kxa5vU-bnmaROgvog/videos

Clubhouse: @thechrisdo

https://www.linkedin.com/in/thechrisdo/

https://twitter.com/theChrisDo

https://www.instagram.com/thechrisdo/

Book:

Pocket Full of Do

Podcasts:

The Futur Podcast with Chris Do

Chris Do on Business Survival Skills During Change

The Power of Thinking Big

May 17, 2021 by Billy Samoa Saleebey
General
Bigger Thinking, coach, leadership, Professional Development, vamsi polimetla

Vamsi Polimetla, a coach and professional development enthusiast, is on a mission to make more leaders. Studying the works of Tony Robbins, Brendon Burchard, Michael Hyatt, and Jay Shetty, Vamsi shares stories and thought provoking questions to unlock bigger thinking.

How asking your parents deep questions can pass wisdom

Vamsi recommends scheduling time with your parents to ask deep questions as a way to gain wisdom and knowledge before they move on from this planet. Some questions you could ask include:

  • What experiences did you have as a kid?
  • What did you learn from those experiences?
  • What were some of the challenging moments?
  • What are things you would do differently?
  • What are some of your proud moments and accomplishments?
  • What is one message you want to pass to the next generation?

While we may be aware of the positive aspects of our parent’s journey, Vamsi suggests digging deeper. Wisdom from failures and mistakes can be applied to our own lives.

On a mission to create more leaders

Vamsi stresses that leadership is all about taking personal responsibility. It is not about your office, title, or authority. It is about growing and trying to make every single day your best day. Polimetla believes leadership is not inherited, rather, individuals can design and cultivate it. To aid in cultivation, Vamsi started an organization, Make More Leaders. One thing Vamsi helps his clients with is thinking and dreaming bigger. We all have big dreams, but very few make their dreams come true. When asked why people avoid thinking big, Vamsi was quick to reply that it stems from limiting beliefs. By identifying limiting beliefs, Vamsi suggests you can begin to understand what is holding you back.

Try this exercise:

  1. Take your hand and put it close to your mouth.
  2. Pretend like you have a half cut lemon in your hand.
  3. Squeeze the lemon…squeeze it…squeeze it more.
  4. It is a really good lemon.
  5. The juice from the lemon is going in your mouth.

Did you feel anything in your mouth? Your mouth likely started producing saliva as if you actually had a lemon, despite the fact it was not real. Moral of the activity? The brain acts on the story we tell ourselves every day. If we change our story, everything else can change.

What are ways we can recognize limiting beliefs? 

While we may not be able to prevent limiting beliefs from coming up, there are strategies to identify them. Vamsi suggests putting them on paper. This can help individuals realize whether the beliefs are true or false. Polimetla does this with his clients every six months. Similar to software, there are new versions of ourselves. We are constantly changing and evolving. We can upgrade our programming and make consistent improvements throughout our lives.

When we asked Vamsi what daily activities could be implemented to help overcome limiting beliefs, doubts, and restrictions, Vamsi highlighted the benefit of starting with a morning routine (and using mornings more effectively). For example, if you get up one hour earlier every day, it equates to 365 hours a year, or, almost nine working weeks. This extra hour, over the course of a year, can be used toward your bigger mission. It is part of taking personal responsibility and gaining momentum.

Clarity is more important than intelligence

Vamsi claims the reason behind procrastination is lack of mental clarity. Seeing yourself executing the goal clearly can help you navigate to the intended destination. In order to get to the destination, a clear vision is helpful. Equally important is identifying where you are in the journey. Once there is clarity, one may realize a different map is needed to get to the destination.

Another strategy Vamsi recommends is less emphasis on winning the championship and greater attention on the “current play”. If you win the current play, you are more likely to win the match. If you win a couple of matches, you are more likely to make it to the championship. Focusing on the incremental moments can ultimately help achieve the bigger goal.

Every week is a blank page

Starting your Monday with a clear picture of the things you would like to accomplish over the next seven days can increase the likelihood of achieving them. 

Questions you can ask yourself to aid in planning out your week include:

  • What books will you dive into?
  • What podcasts will you listen to?
  • What workout routines will you implement?
  • What fun activities will you schedule?

It isn’t just about business or finances. Vamsi suggests considering these four components:

  1. Health
  2. Career
  3. Learning and development
  4. Joy

In order to achieve results, Polimetla suggests focusing on the items that will “move the needle”.  There may be 100 things you need to work on. Asking yourself what items will make the most impact and carving out time for the essentials is not always easy, but can drastically increase results.

Trust and integrity

Trust, integrity, and clear intention can all aid in building healthy relationships. If you drop a ball it will bounce back. If you drop a glass ball, it’s not going to come back. Vamsi analogizes trust to a glass ball. It is difficult to build and can be broken easily. Integrity is what we do when no one is watching. If you look at individuals that have perfected a craft, they likely got to where they are because they put in time, effort, and repetition to be really good.

The power of belief

Vamsi’s love for personal development came about during his time working for a large health insurance company. He was provided an opportunity to step into a management position. Thinking that it would be a good opportunity to explore a leadership position, he accepted. One of his first tasks was to share his journey and vision at a keynote speech. He was overridden by shock the day he went to present. What he thought was going to be an audience of 10-15 people, turned out to be around 150.  He walked away feeling as though he had bombed it. That night he couldn’t sleep and felt like a failure. The next day he went to his manager’s office with the intention of telling him thank you for the opportunity, but management was not his “cup of tea”. Upon arrival, the first thing from his manager’s mouth was, “Vamsi, you did pretty well yesterday”. He went on to tell him he would get more opportunities in the future.

This moment was eye opening for Polimetla. Someone believed in him. He didn’t want to let him down. From then on, Vamsi started investing into his personal growth and has not stopped. Vamsi hopes to have a ripple effect and pass on the gift of believing in others.

Vamsi’s nine leadership principles include:

  1. Take 100% responsibility
  2. Treat every day like a blessing
  3. The future is better than the past
  4. Confusion and certainty are okay
  5. There is always a way if you commit
  6. Leaders are always running their own race
  7. No failures, only outcomes
  8. Leave the place better than you found it and make more leaders
  9. Your body is your temple, take care of it

If he had to choose a couple of principles, they would be number one and number nine. Vamsi is a huge advocate of taking 100% responsibility, encourages us to ask ourselves questions such as:

  • What can I learn from this situation?
  • How can I grow from this situation?

These questions can put us in a different zone. Rather than focusing on the negatives, we can grow. Of course, we cannot have growth opportunities if we do not take care of ourselves. Polimetla claims our body is our best asset. It is the only thing we live in for the rest of our life. 

Another question Vamsi encourages individuals to ask themselves is their commitment level. In fact, he does not take on new clients prior to understanding if they are interested or committed. Do they have long term or short term thinking? It can be easy to step away when there is interest. Commitment introduces a deeper level and willingness to overcome obstacles.

Vamsi’s bigger mission in life is to help people achieve their dreams. Those he is able to impact will pay it forward by helping others.

Learn more from Vamsi:

Website: https://make-more-leaders.teachable.com/p/mastermind-ii

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/vamsipolimetla/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/POLIMETLA

Twitter: Mobilevamsi

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/polimetla

Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/highperformancegrowth?modal=false&should_open_composer=false

Podcast:

The Power of Thinking Big – Vamsi Polimetla
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